When I woke up a new tray of food had been put on my chair. I shivered when I tried to think about what had happened. Luckily the drugs made me woozy for a while so I would have to concentrate my thoughts much.

I eagerly swallowed the cold, mushy food and went to the door.

I banged the door heavily until Cathie came to see what I wanted.

"What is it Alison?" She said angrily after she opened the door.

"I want to use the toilet."

"Use your bed pan like everyone else!"

"I need to shit!"

Cathie growled something and let me pass out the door. I walked obediently in front of her to the toilet.

The ward I was on was a special one. The fence at the end of the corridor would keep me from escaping should I run away from Cathie the Bitch.  The other few patients on the ward were unstable, so much so that one loud scream from me would get them cowering in the corner until a doctor came in a talked to them. I had done it before. Screaming at their windows so they freaked out. It was fun.

Cathie unlocked the bathroom and followed me inside.

The bathroom contained a toilet, a shower and a sink. I walked to the toilet.

"Can you turn around?" I asked though I knew the answer.

"No."

"I'd like my privacy!"

"No."

I pulled down my trousers and did my business. When I was finished I stood up and took my clothes off. Might as well have a shower while I was here right? Cathie growled again as I removed my shirt and jumped into the little shower cubical before she could protest.

The water was cold at first and there was no curtain. No telling what an insane person could do when alone in the shower or toilet. Thats why Cathie stayed with us.

Cathie walked to the door and opened it.

"Ed, bring a towel. Parks here decided to be clever and get in the shower." She called down the corridor.

I let the water trickle down my body with my eyes closed. I didnt care if Ed and the guards saw me naked. Maybe Id get lucky and one would try to rape me. I ran my hands over my body trying to remove the layer of dirt that may have covered me since my last shower. I felt the scars over my legs and arms. I made those ones. The ones on my wrists were largest.

The scars on my stomach were the ones I didnt make. I didnt touch them. I couldnt face that memory. I couldnt relive what happened in front of Cathie.

The water was turned off. I opened my eyes and stared into Cathies.

"Bitch." I whispered.

"Nice. Dry off now!"

I took the white towel and dried my body. Cathies eyes rested on the scars on my stomach. I knew she wanted to know what happened. They all did. They wanted me to tell them for Timothys sake but, no, I cant think of that.

"Stop looking at me bitch."

She looked up into my eyes. Her green eyes were filled with questions. I considered scratching them out so she wouldnt be able to look at me like that.

"Finish drying off."

I dropped the towel and put on my clothes. She opened the door and waited for me to leave. I turned and flushed the toilet first, just to annoy her.

Walking back to my cell I could hear the others, babbling and whispering. I banged on one door. Marys. She screamed and banged back. She attacked the door for all she was worth. Ed ran up to stop her. I loved doing that.

"I told you to stop that Parks."

"Why dont you call me by my first name?"

"Dont do it."

I lent in to her ear and whispered, "Youre afraid of me arent you?" before going back into my room. She slammed the door behind me leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I dont like to be alone. Sometimes, if it gets quiet, I can hear the screams again. Fresh in my memory.

I heard them now. Filling my head. I curled onto my bed and held my ears. Timothys voice spoke to me.

"No please!" He said, "I didnt do it!"

I heard the shot. I heard the scream. Wait, it was my own scream. It was my scream. I was screaming.