"Hey John, open up!" Michael said as we reached the gate.

John looked me over. He wasnt going to let me out I could just feel it. I was so close but now theyd snatch it from me.

"You got it Dr. Rimes!" John smiled and opened the gate.

I let out my breath and walked past. Id been in there so long I had forgotten what being on the other side of the fence had looked like.

"You ok?" Michael asked me.

I nodded. It was a little weird being there but I was ok. I followed him. He led me to his car, a blue Punto, and opened the door.

"Me?" I asked. It was a stupid question but I didnt expect to be leaving the hospital grounds.

"Of course you." I sat inside. I noticed my breathing was increasing when he shut the door. I could hear the traffic and people outside the gates. I quickly slowed my breathing and swallowed. I hoped I wouldnt throw up.

He slammed his door shut and looked me over before starting his car. The sound of the car and the vibrations brought back more memories. Me and friends driving from school, mum taking me shopping, Timothy smiling and laughing with his friends in the back. I felt a tear sliding down my cheek. I was quick to wipe it away.

The gates opened in front of the car. I watched the gates moving slowly back to let us pass. I swallowed again. The car moved forward and out of the gate. I couldnt help but shake. The first time I had been out of the hospital in ages. I didnt even know the date.

"You ok?" Michael asked again. I nodded for the second time. Why was I so frightened?

The car made it onto the road and the gates closed behind me. I looked out of the window while we drove in silence. People were going about their everyday lives as usual. They didnt even notice the car as it drove past.

"W-where are we going?" I asked, when I found my voice.

"To the park." He answered without taking his eyes off the road.

"The park?" I didnt expect that. I didnt want to be in a crowd of people!

He slowed down and found a space to park. I could already hear kids screaming and laughing. The hustle and bustle of street life overwhelmed me before I even got out of the car.

"Are you coming?" I realised Michael had opened my car door for me. I was still shaking and tripped as I got out of the car. Michael caught me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. I tried to nod, I really did, but I couldnt.

I stood of my own accord and looked around. There were people everywhere.

"I-I didnt expect so many people." I whispered.

"What did you think the park would close just cause you were coming?" He smiled but stopped when I looked at him.

"Im sorry, this is too much for you. Ill take you back."

"No." I wanted to do it, I wanted to see the children playing, and feel the air around me.

He watched me as I slowly walked towards the park entrance. Someone walked into me in a hurry. He turned on me and shouted.

"Watch where youre going!" He shouted before walking away.

I couldnt say anything, I would have shouted back but I couldnt.

"Alison are you ok?" Michael rushed over.

I nodded. I wish I hadnt, I realised I couldnt do it anymore.

He held my arm and walked me into the park. I felt weak, too weak to resist. People were everywhere. They were lying in the grass and running across the paths and playing catch with flying disks. I looked around. People were laughing and playing, smiling and talking. Some looked at me. At that moment I realised how strange I was. How much that night had cost me. I started crying. I wasnt like these people. I could never smile and play like that. I was a broken soul and they didnt even know it. I was insane.